Weaning

**This is a post about my experience weaning Jude. It's long, and probably more information than 99% of people really care to know. I just wanted to document this experience for myself, though! So, if you're not interested in a post about breastfeeding, you should probably just skip this one :)**

So, Jude is now officially weaned. I'm SO happy that I was able to breastfeed him for a year. He never had any formula, and I'm really proud of that. (NOT because I think formula is terrible. I'm just proud of setting a goal for myself and reaching it.) Aubrey self weaned at 10 months old. I really wanted to nurse her for a year too, and I tried everything to try to get her to keep nursing (pumping, trying to get her to eat all the time, fenugreek, etc.), but it just wasn't happening. So, I was even more happy that I was able to successfully breastfeed Jude for a year.

I did end up giving him some cow's milk about 10 days before his birthday. I was going to Memphis for my girls' trip, and I was going to be gone overnight. I knew I wouldn't be able to pump enough to last him 2 days, so I mixed some cow's milk with breastmilk a few days before I went just to get him used to it. He then had a little breastmilk and some cow's milk while I was gone. Here's the drawback though: he would only take the cow's milk from a bottle. I was REALLY hoping to go straight from nursing to a cup. Jude just would not take the milk from a cup, though, and at that point, I just had to get him taking the milk before I just left him. So, I gave him a bottle of cow's milk, and he took it fine.

When I got home from my trip, my plan was to keep nursing him a couple of times a day until his birthday, at which point I would wean him. I never had any plans or desire to nurse past a year. I know breastmilk still would have been good for him and a lot of people do it, but it just wasn't something I felt like would be best for our family. Until his birthday, I was planning to keep giving Jude cow's milk along with nursing him a couple of times a day just to keep him used to it until I weaned him entirely. I didn't want to quit giving him the cow's milk, and then have to "re-introduce" it in a week when I weaned him. So, this is what we did for several days. I usually nursed him in the mornings and then sometimes at night. He would get cow's milk the rest of the day.

The week of his birthday, I decided to go ahead and wean him. Originally, I thought a slow, gradual weaning would be best for both of us, but it turned out to be harder on Jude that way. I felt like when I didn't nurse him, he didn't think about it or want to nurse. He was perfectly happy with the cow's milk. But then after I nursed him, it's like it reminded him of what he was "missing" and he wanted to nurse more often. By this point, my supply had gone down so much that I really couldn't have nursed him more often even if I had wanted to. So, I felt like it would be easier on him just to quit cold turkey. (It wasn't really cold turkey though, since he was only nursing one or two times a day.) And it was. One day, spur of the moment, I just didn't nurse him, and he has never seemed to think about it since. It's like he's already completely forgotten about it. Which is as it should be, in my opinion. The weaning process was actually very easy for him, and I'm SO happy about that. It would have broken my heart if he had been really upset about it. I think this was a really good time to wean him, because he seemed to get more and more attached to nursing as he got older, so I think it would have been harder the longer we had waited. Weaning somewhat suddenly was actually harder on me than it was for Jude! I had a few uncomfortable days, but that passed pretty quickly, and everything is back to normal now :)

I'm happy that with both Aubrey and Jude, weaning just sort of happened, and I didn't have a "last" nursing session that I was aware of. Of course there was a last feeding with both of them, but I didn't know at the time that it would be the last, and that's good for me. I think it would be too sad and emotional any other way!

So, that's where we are now. Unfortunately, Jude is still REFUSING to drink cow's milk out of a cup, so he is getting three bottles a day. I have tried several different kinds of cups, but he's just not interested (he will drink water out of a cup if he's really thirsty, but NOT milk). I have no idea what to do about this. I know we need to ditch the bottle, but I'm worried that he'll get dehydrated or not get enough calories without it. I'm planning on talking to his pediatrician about this at his one year checkup, but I couldn't get him in until August 19th! Any tips on getting a baby to take milk from a cup?

This post is getting too long, but one more thing: Ever since I weaned Jude, I feel like he's starting to like other people more and more. He's always been a sweet, social baby, but he's definitely been a mama's boy. He still loves me, but he's really decided he loves his daddy lately. Sometimes he prefers David over me these days, and that's kind of bittersweet for me. I LOVE that our children love their daddy. David is an amazing dad, and he deserves for our children to think he's awesome. I also think it's very healthy for children to be comfortable with people other than their mother who love them and take good care of them. But I don't want to be replaced! Haha. I know that Jude still loves me, though. I think breastfeeding was such a wonderful thing, and it definitely contributed to the bond that I have with both of my children, but it didn't create the bond and the bond doesn't depend on that. I am bonded with my children because I'm their mother, and I love them. And that definitely doesn't change with weaning :) I'm so thankful that I was able to provide my child with the absolute BEST thing for him his first year of life. Breastfeeding does require a few sacrifices, but it is so fulfilling knowing I'm giving my children such a good thing!

Misc.

-I think it is safe to say that summer has officially arrived! The high here yesterday was 98, and I heard that it might get to 100 today. It's miserable already. Makes me a little glad that I'm not hugely pregnant like I have been the past two out of three summers! ;)

-Jude is really getting more and more hair, and I'm so excited because I think it's going to be curly! When we are outside and he gets sweaty, he has the sweetest little curls in the back. Precious! I really hope that his hair is curly, because I think it would be hard to figure out what to do with straight boy hair. I'm not a big fan of bowl cuts, and I don't want stringy bangs in his face. I know lots of little boys with straight hair that are super cute, so I know it can be done; I just think their hair requires a little more effort. So, if Jude had curly hair, that would be GREAT with me! :) Funny how I have analyzed all this, right?

-Speaking of Jude, the nursing problem has gotten better. I have been pumping a lot and giving him bottles if he starts biting when I'm trying to feed him. There are certain feeding where I just kind of know he is going to bite and that I will need to give him a bottle. The important thing to me is that he gets breast milk for a year, so whether I'm nursing him or pumping and giving him bottles is beside the point to me. Although, it is WAY more convenient to just nurse him! He had actually gotten better and wasn't biting much at all, but he's started back recently. He was up a few times last night, too, so I think he might be getting another tooth. Anyway, I think we should be able to keep nursing until he is able to have cow's milk. Now that it's June, that means that Jude turns one NEXT MONTH. That blows my mind.

-We haven't been doing any major projects around the house lately, but there are so many little things that I want to take pictures of and post about. I like to document what our house looks like often, because it's always changing, and it's fun for me to look back :) I'm thinking it's about time to tackle a project that I've been wanting to do since the first time I saw this house: THE BUNNY BATHROOM! I think I want to wall paper it, which is very intimidating, because I have NO CLUE how to wall paper.

-The other day after Bible Study, I wanted to run into the mall to get some shoes for Aubrey, but I didn't have the double stroller with me. I did have the umbrella stroller, so I decided to be adventurous and put Jude in the stroller and made Aubrey hold my hand. I was slightly terrified that Aubrey was going to bolt at any minute, but she did GREAT! It probably helped that I told her that we could go to Chick Fil A for lunch if she held my hand and obeyed while we were looking for shoes. Haha! Anyway, I felt proud of myself for getting two kids in the mall, trying shoes on Aubrey, buying shoes, going to the Food Court and buying Chick Fil A, and then eating the Chick Fil A all with only one stroller. And I made it back to the car with both kids intact! Haha ;)

-Jude's afternoon naps are so spotty. It's kind of frustrating. I'm currently listening to him fuss/cry, and I've already been into his room twice. Have I mentioned how excited I'll be when he just takes one nap a day? Yes, that will be nice.

-I really want to join a pool so that we will have something fun to do this summer in the heat. I'm trying to decide if I'm brave enough to attempt the pool with the two kids by myself. Decisions, decisions! I know any outdoor activity that doesn't involve water is pretty much out of the question until probably around November.

Jude finally went to sleep, so I should probably do something productive while both kids are napping! :)

Nursing plus Teeth equals Pain

I just have to take a moment and say that nursing a baby with teeth HURTS. This is a completely new experience for me, because Aubrey didn't get her first tooth until she was a year old, and we were done with nursing by then. Jude now has two teeth on the bottom, and he is getting two on the top. So not only does he have teeth, but he is teething. Meaning he bites. A lot. I know the poor baby doesn't mean anything by it -- he chews on everything: pacifier, sippy cup, toys, hands, etc. This morning while he was eating, he bit me and nearly DREW BLOOD.

I don't know if we'll make it to a year at the rate we're going. I REALLY REALLY want to. But I just don't know how long I can handle being a chew toy. Also, ever since he started teething, he hasn't been nursing as well, and so I've noticed a big drop in my milk supply. I've been taking Fenugreek and pumping and it seems to be helping, but now we are dealing with the biting. I just don't want nursing to become something that is stressful for both of us. I'm stressed about possibly being chomped down on and my milk supply being low, so my milk doesn't let down. Then Jude gets frustrated that he isn't getting anything, gets mad, and won't try anymore. So, of course that is counterproductive.

I'm not giving up yet, though! I'm really trying to make this work! Jude has never had any formula, and I'd like to be able to just go straight to cow's milk when he is old enough. I just felt the need to whine a little bit about my nursing woes. I'm done now :)

Still Here. Still Sick.

We are still under the weather over here, unfortunately. Aubrey has been in good spirits, but she is still coughing and running fever. David is finally starting to feel a little bit better. I thought I was feeling a little better yesterday, but then I woke up today feeling awful. My chest hurt SO much from coughing, and I was just sure that I had to be developing pneumonia it was so awful. I actually freaked myself out about it so much that I ended up going to the doctor just to have it checked out. Thankfully, I don't have phenomena, but I am starting an antibiotic to make sure that doesn't develop. I'm usually not big on taking antibiotics unless I feel like I really need them, but I feel bad enough to try anything at this point ;-) The doctor said it might be another 5 days before I really start feeling better. Surely not!! Please no!

We are going pretty stir crazy, I'm not gonna lie :-) We like our routine and staying busy, and we have pretty much been at home since Thursday. I've had to miss a lot of stuff thanks to this stupid sickness, including a women's retreat at church over the weekend and Bunco tomorrow night :( I think Aubrey misses getting out, too. Tonight when she was going upstairs for bed, she said to me, "I want you to put me in my double stroller tomorrow and take me to the park to go walkin' with Bekkah and Carver." Haha! I wish.

Thank God, Jude is still well as of now, and I'm praying he stays that way. I haven't really even been able to take any medicine since I'm breastfeeding him. I know I can take some over the counter cold medicines, but I'm just worried about my milk supply. It just hasn't been worth it to me yet, so I've only been taking medicine for fever. I might end up breaking down and taking something if I don't feel better soon. The doctor today said there were a couple of heavy duty things that he could prescribe for me that would make me feel a lot better if I wasn't breastfeeding, but since I am, there really aren't a ton of options. Oh well. It's worth toughing it out for my sweet baby. Hopefully he's getting some good antibodies that will keep him from getting sick! :-)

So, that's our status. Still sick, but praying to be on the mend very soon!

Life With Two: 6 Months In

Now that we are almost 6 months in (WHERE has the time gone??), I thought it was time for me to give a little update on how life with two kids is going. The short answer is that it's wonderful, and I wouldn't trade my two babies for anything in the entire world! Now for the long answer ;)

Life with two children is definitely not without it's challenges, but the transition really has been easier than I expected it to be. I still think, for me, going from no kids to one was a much more difficult transition than going from one to two. I know this is different for everyone, though, and I think a lot depends on your children's personalities. I also realize that having two kids isn't anything unusual or unique to me. Someone from church who has four kids was teasing me the other day and saying that two kids would feel like a vacation! I'm sure that's true, but two kids is the most I have ever had, so it seems like a lot and a big accomplishment to me. Ha! :)

So far, the hardest parts of having two children are:

-Trying to figure out a schedule that works for all of us!
I am still trying to get Jude on a good nap schedule. He ends up taking 2 naps a day (sometimes 3 if we are out and about in the evenings - he will usually sleep in the car for a while). It's just been hard trying to figure out the best time to get anything done between all the naps I'm trying to work around. There just doesn't seem to be any good time to get out of the house and go to the grocery store, run errands, etc. By the time we wake up, eat breakfast, and all get ready, it's time for Jude's first nap. Then it's lunchtime. Then it's time for Aubrey's nap, and, shortly after that, Jude's afternoon nap. By the time they both wake up, it's late afternoon, and the day is over. Thankfully, this hasn't been a huge problem yet, because Jude is still young enough to nap well in his carseat. A lot of times, he ends up taking his morning nap in his carseat. I think this is a large part of the reason why he has had a hard time napping in his bed. We can't stay home all day everyday, though, so we just kind of have to do the best we can. It's also really difficult to get Jude down for a nap while Aubrey is awake. Still trying to figure that one out.

-Not being able to "sleep when the baby sleeps."
I love sleep. I think I require more sleep than the average person. Haha. When Aubrey was a baby, if we had a rough night, I would just put her in the bed with me the the next morning and we would both sleep LATE. Or I could take a nice nap when she napped. That's just really not always an option when you have more than one child. It seems like Aubrey always wakes up the earliest when Jude has had the worst night. And if the thought even crosses my mind that it might be a good day for me to take a nap, I can pretty much bank on Aubrey or Jude or both not napping well. It's just almost guaranteed. There have really been days when I get up feeling like there is no way I'm going to be able to function and take care of two children as sleepy as I am. I do, though, and I've never fallen asleep and had anything crazy happen. Yet. Haha. (Jude actually sleeps worse now than he did when he was 8 weeks old!)

-Having to divide my time between the two children.
This hasn't been as hard as I was worried it would be, simply because Aubrey really adjusted to having Jude around SO easily. Some days she just is a little more clingy than usual or she's just in a funk, and I can't sit and hold her whenever she wants me to anymore. That's because she usually wants me to hold her while I'm feeding Jude. She has just had to learn that the world doesn't revolve around her, and that sometimes we can't have everything we want immediately. This is a lesson that Jude will learn probably earlier than Aubrey, because this does go both ways. Sometimes I am tending to Aubrey and Jude just has to cry for a little while. Of course, it's hard to hear either one of my babies crying, and I wish that I could do more things at once.

-Leaving the house on time.
This one is pretty much impossible for me. No matter how early I start getting us ready to be somewhere, it's always always a mad dash to get out the door, and I have to just take some deep breaths when I finally do get us all in the car. I think this may have more to do with having a nursing baby than with having two kids. Everything just kind of needs to happen at the last minute. I need to feed Jude right before we walk out the door, but I can't get him dressed until after I feed him (he spits up a lot). Because he spits up, I can't get myself dressed until after I feed him either. Then I have to load him into his seat and make sure Aubrey hasn't undressed herself or taken her shoes and socks off, and gather up all of our stuff... whew! This is why my diaper bag usually has no diapers, wipes, or spare clothes in it. Haha! Sometimes it's all I can do to get us out the door ;)

-Making comparisons.
I actually don't have a hard time not comparing Aubrey and Jude to each other. Of course I do like looking back on the blog and seeing what Aubrey was doing at Jude's age, and things like that, but I don't expect Jude to be just like Aubrey or do things at exactly the same age that she did. I do, however, compare what I did for Aubrey to what I do for Jude and how much time I spent holding her and how many pictures I take of him... stuff like that. Sometimes I feel like I have to make everything completely "fair." I have to hold him just as much as I held her, and I can't do a baby book for Jude because I didn't do one for Aubrey, and I have to do the same amount of blog posts about both of them... you get the idea. I've had to realize that I could drive myself crazy if I tried to make everything exactly the same. Aubrey and Jude are individuals, and they might have different needs at different times. They have different personalities and will probably have different interests. I just have to be the best mother that I can be to both of them and love and encourage their uniqueness. While I would NEVER want to show any favoritism (which I honestly can't imagine - how could you have a favorite child??), I won't always treat them exactly the same, and that's ok. Not only is it ok, but it's necessary, in my opinion.

Now for some of the BEST things about having two children:

-Having this much love for two children.
It really is amazing, and I didn't see how it was possible before Jude was born, but I really do love both of these children with my whole heart. I wondered before Jude was born how I would ever love another child as much as I love Aubrey, but I do. It's just that simple. I think it's such a beautiful thing that I love Aubrey more than I can express and I think she is the cutest, sweetest, most precious child on this earth. Period. AND I also love Jude more than I can express, and I think he's the cutest, sweetest, most precious child on this earth. And the fact that I love them both completely takes nothing away from my love for the other. I don't really understand how that's possible, but I know it's true :)

-Watching them interact with each other.
I know Aubrey and Jude are both still really young, but it's cute to see a sweet little relationship developing between them already. They really love each other. They just look at each other and laugh and laugh sometimes. It's the cutest thing ever. Aubrey is so sweet to Jude. The other day, he was crying, and she looked at me and said, "It makes me sad when him cries, Mommy." Melted. my. heart. It would just thrill me to pieces if they are each others best friends. There is just something so special about sibling relationships. Your siblings should just GET you.

-Feeling like a REAL FAMILY.
I know that we were already a "real family" before Jude was born. David and I were our own family from the day we got married, and we were certainly a family when it was just the three of us, too. But for me, there was just something about having multiple kids that cemented that feeling. It was like I woke up one day and realized that David and I have KIDS. Not a child, but CHILDREN. We aren't just playing house or babysitting, these are our children to raise. They have been entrusted to us. It's an amazing, wonderful thing.

-Knowing that I'm doing what I have been called to do.
This isn't necessarily something that came with having two kids, but just with having children in general. I have always wanted to be a mother, and I really feel like this is what God has called me to do. Being at home with these two kids everyday is not always easy, but I know I am fulfilling my calling, and I also realize what a privileged it is. These two little souls are my mission field right now, and I hope and pray that I point them to Christ daily.

Having children is simultaneously the hardest thing and the most amazing thing that I have ever done. Even on the hard days, there is nowhere I would rather be than right here with Aubrey and Jude! :)